Category: Life

Sandy Sues Silver Diner, Logan Ohio

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A nice warm winter day always makes Bobbi and I want to get out and enjoy the day. On this day we decided to head to the Hocking Hills Market to visit the craft and antique malls. When we arrived we decided to give Sandy Sue's Silver Diner a try. The one thing I can say is that it definitely was not a mistake to do that.

First thing when you pull up in front of the diner is you just get a feeling of nostalgia, that is for those old enough to remember the old road side diners that dotted the roads in the past. Not all of them were "silver diners" but you can not mistake the feeling. It was about the same.

When entering there was one of the old time jukeboxes in the entry way. I am sure that it played digital music instead of 45 records, but all the same it was still there. The counter was in clear view with a couple of older gentlemen setting at the end of it talking. Much the way it would have been in the 1960's.


“Anybody who doesn’t think that the best hamburger place in the world is in his home town is a sissy.”--Calvin Trillin


We took our seats and were quickly waited on by our server who asked if wanted something to drink and returned with those drinks promptly.

We were given time to look over the menu and make our choice. I opted for the fish tail, fries and coleslaw. Bobbi chose the Chicken Chile. Again the order was made quickly and delivered to the table hot. That was impressive as there were two other tables of people there who arrived about the same time as us.

bobbi at sandy sues silver dinerI have to say that I have been to a lot of restaurants in my life and had a lot of sea food. Until my experience at Sandy Sue's the best fish I had ever had was at a little sea side diner in North Carolina. That was until now. The fish was tender, flaky with a great flavor. The Fries were perfectly done and that is saying something. I am very picky about my fries. I don't like them if they are to crunchy, to hot or cold or to soft. These were in my opinion perfect. I will say that I was not a fan of the slaw. It was just not to the texture I liked. The flavor was okay, but the texture left some to be desired. But that is my opinion and you know what they say about opinions. They are like arm pits, everyone has some and most stink.

Bobbi offered me some of the chicken chili that she had. I have to say a small offer as she was engrossed in it. I can understand why. It was really great chili. Not to spicy with a great flavor. I will definitely get that the next time we go. That is if they have it. It was a "special" and it was also the first time they offered it. I have to say it was a great "experiment" on their part.  So the atmosphere was great, the food was exceptional what about the pricing? Well that makes it three for three. Our check with the above described food and two drinks came to $16. That makes it worth the short drive out of town to eat there. If you are a tourist in the area visiting Hocking Hills State Park or one of the other attractions in the area you will do yourself an injustice by not stopping by and getting something.We are going to make it one of our regular dining establishments.

The rest of the trip was just as nice. The large amount of store and things to see that the flea market made the trip enjoyable. Unfortunately the putt putt golf course was closed, which was a bummer but the rest of the experience was great.

If you are taking a trip to the Hocking Hills this summer you have to take a half a day or so to see what it is all about. The locals already know.


About the author

Bradley Finnearty

 

I am a certified webmaster who has lived a life dealing with bipolar depression. My goal is to not only help others dealing with bipolar and depression but to help those around them to understand what is going with their loved ones. I write about how I deal with it and hope that it inspires you to understand that you don't have to let it control you. You control it. I write the way I talk. I want you to feel like I am talking with you in a conversation, not preaching at you in a way that makes you feel like you have to do what I tell you. I hope you enjoy my blog posts about not only bipolar but all things that I write about.


What about you? Have you ever been to Sandy Sue's? Do you have a favorite diner that you like to go to? What about the old silver diners, is there one in your area? 

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Bipolar disorder and the past

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I learned that I was bipolar1 about 15 years ago and ever since then I have looked  back at my past to see how it has affected my life. I don't dwell on it but I do look back at parts of my life and say "did it cause that?

My reason for that is that I have made some extremely strange and troubling choices. Have done some extremely bad things that would make a person believe that I am a bad person. Things that make me say "why did I do that?"

In order for someone to understand what I am talking about I have to give the reader a brief history of my past. Just as I had to understand what I did and why. These are things that I am not proud of but are a part of my life none the less.  

In my post The Story Of A Middle-Aged Bipolar Man And How I Survived I gave my history in more detail than I am going to go into now and you can find out more there. But in short I had a dream of joining the Air Force and becoming a D.J. on the Armed Forces Network. I let that go by the way side to get married and "live for today". My life later turned into raising 3 kids with a job that I hated in a life that I hated. I turned all that negativity against my kids in a very wrong way. I also had an addiction to sex that although did not affect my family it did affect my happiness as I was not free to follow the sexual things I wanted to pursue. Again, that angst was turned against my kids.

So with that out of the way you can understand that I had to figure out how much of my Bipolar1 caused all of that and how much of it was other factors.  

In order to figure out if my Bipolar1 had any effect on my behavior I did some research into the personality characteristics of Bipolar people. Since I am BP1 and only know about my dealings with it I will talk about what I found out when it comes to that. A 2012 study by Ulsan College of Medicine in Seoul found some interesting things. It found that there are personality differences between BP1 and BP2 among other things. 

For purposes of my article here are the findings that affect me.

When the different patients were surveyed it was found that those who were in the Bipolar I group scored low points in terms of neuroticism, whilst Bipolar II patients scored much higher. The same Bipolar II patients suffered increased levels of anxiety, feelings of vulnerability and depression because of this.

Conversely, Bipolar I sufferers scored more highly on the extraversion dimension of the test and the more positive elements that went with this particular trait, whilst the Bipolar II patients had a significantly lower score. Source

Though people with Bipolar 1 do not characteristically have anxiety issues they are subject to them. But that does not answer my question about the past. It did not answer about judgement. So on with the research I went.

I found that manic periods can and do affect judgement. During a manic period, people with bipolar disorder often have impaired judgment and act recklessly. People with bipolar disorder often do not recognize just how ill they are (a condition known as anosognosia) and may blame their problems on outside factors. Source There it is. What I have been looking for. Bipolar can cause bad judgment. Yes, all the bad things I did in life before I found out about being Bipolar can be explained.  

Before anyone says "you are looking for an excuse" I want to say that I am not looking for an out. I was wondering if there was a reason for my bad judgement and not just me being a bad person. So now I have it. The fact that I do not feel like a bad person means something. I am not. It is just that before I found out that there was reason for all of this I felt like the most evil person in the world. Now I can concentrate on moving forward with life.

One of the things that I found out I must do to move on is to forgive myself for my past. I have heard it said many times in order to get forgiveness for your wrong doings you must forgive yourself first. I had done that, but I have never felt that the people who I wronged the most forgave me. I tried to apologize and explain why I did what I did and what happened. But none of that helped. I know my son never forgave me. I had hoped that my daughters had.

They had told me many times that they had but I did not feel like it. I kn during one certain conversation one of my daughters told me that her and her brother had blocked out parts of their childhoods. That they could not remember whole part of it. When I made the comment that the older you get the more you forget of your childhood it made them mad that I was minimizing their pain. Other conversations like that made me believe that I was right. They had not forgiven the past. So I tried harder. But again it did not work.

Then after one particularly rude conversation between my son and myself I had decided I had enough. Period. So I wrote a letter that I sent to all three of them at the same time stating that very point and that I did not want to hear it anymore. Well that went over like a lead balloon. I received notes back from all of them saying what a disgusting person I was and that they did not want to have any contact with me anymore. That they did not set around and think about the past and other things. There were other things said, but that was the short of the story.  

At first it hurt because I had done and given so much to do "the right thing" by them after the fact. But then it hit me. I wondered if in a subconscious way I did it to "kick them" out of my life. I wondered if I knew that they would react that way? I don't know. Maybe I am putting to much thought into it. But the end result was that they do not have the constant reminder of me in their lives to force the past on them, and neither do I. I can get past it also. I am not at all proud or defending what I did in the way of the poor treatment of my children, but it is over. It was 25 years ago there has to come a time when a person has to move on regardless of the past.  


"Nothing fixes a thing so intensely in the memory as the wish to forget it."

Michel de Montaigne


No it was not a selfless act of allowing my children the freedom to move on. It again was poor judgement that in this rare case worked out for the best in a way. No I do not have contact with my children any more and that hurts in a way. But it is what is best for all of us. I know that in my heart. But it did allow a chance to move on. To heal from the past for them and for me. To move on from it. Hopefully one day it may be corrected. I hope so.

That is one of the many ways that understanding Bipolar can help you have hope for the future. I now can understand  that the bad judgments of the past can be dealt with and moved past. I now can see past it all. There is a hope for future judgments.  

How? Well I can now think about something when or shortly after it happens to rethink it if you will. To say to myself, is that the way you want it to be? I find myself doing that all the time anymore. It gets so aggravating to have to do that, but in order to be the kind of person I want to be I have to do it. It just as important as taking my medication.

That has been the positive about learning about my situation. Now all things make since. All of the strange things in my past make since. I look back at all the bizarre stuff and in some strange way it all makes since. So now it is on to the future.

I can at least look to the future with a hope that I have not had in a long time before now. Not only because of learning about my bipolar and what caused me to do that things that I have done in the past, but because there is a new hope for small businesses in the country today. I have been waiting on this day for a long time. In my world the best thing I can have is a hope for the future. I think that is the biggest thing that anyone can have, hope for the future.  

It is said that in order to move on, in order to find a future there has to be a cleansing of the past. The way that I did it may be wrong but it seems that sometimes you have feel the pain of your actions in a new way.

You can find a brighter future from a painful past. Even if you are the one who causes that pain. Empathy for the pain is a must, but you can't live your entire life trying to make up for mistakes that you made. At some point it all just has to end.


About the author

Bradley Finnearty

 

I am a certified webmaster who has lived a life dealing with bipolar depression. My goal is to not only help others dealing with bipolar and depression but to help those around them to understand what is going with their loved ones. I write about how I deal with it and hope that it inspires you to understand that you don't have to let it control you. You control it. I write the way I talk. I want you to feel like I am talking with you in a conversation, not preaching at you in a way that makes you feel like you have to do what I tell you. I hope you enjoy my blog posts about not only bipolar but all things that I write about.


 

What about you? Do you have any pain from the past that you have had to clean out so that you could move on?

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dealing with depression in today's climateIt is often sometimes very difficult for a person with depression of bipolar to maintain a positive attitude in day to day life. Today's political climate makes that task even harder to accomplish.

I am a person who has always been involved in politics, I love debating and discussing the policies that control our country today. I enjoy hearing what other people think and having them putting their beliefs forward. To me it is a fundamental right that guaranteed under the constitution. That is the problem though.

When you watch news shows that debate the issues, when you talk to someone on social media nobody wants to actually talk about the policies. They want to name call, stretch the facts and turn things around to support their own views. They will unfriend or block someone on social media who does not agree with them. I even had a friend from college who got a new job and was what I would call "in over her head" and needed help. She would text me and ask how to do this or that. Then she did not like something I stated as a political view and unfriended me. I even had someone tell me that they did not care about debating the policies, they wanted to talk about the person. That they did not care about the policies. I am not the type of person who thinks that  being unfriended or blocked on social media is a life ending event where I get mad and spend time crying over it. But the college friend kind of bothered me because we always talked after class and online but then because I have a different political view I am no longer someone that she wants to associate with.


"We may disagree on some things, but we can do so without being disagreeable." --Christine Gregoire


So how does a person who deals with bipolar depression and  enjoys doing something that is so  negative? Unfortunately the short answer is not do it.

I have to do it, or not do it depending on how you look at it. I find myself being down all the time. I find myself getting angry over little things. I am tired all the time. Those are classic signs of depression. I know it is caused by today's climate because when I submerge myself in things that take my mind off politics I start to feel better. My body does not hurt anymore. So yes, it is the political climate that adding to my problems with depression.

So what am I doing to help myself with this problem? Just what I said above, by not doing it anymore. I find myself listening to music more in the car. I find myself looking for movies and television shows to have on as white noise when I am working on things online. I will spend more time playing on our miniature pool table. Just anything to stop listening to the constant arguing that takes place on television.

There is more of a positive side to this than what I first thought. My love of local music has caused me to take the time to look for more local entertainers to listen to. Doing that improves my good feelings in many ways.

I have been of the belief that today's quality entertainment is in the indie area. I have long been disillusioned with big national entertainers. The recent round of award shows have fortified those feelings. Not only are they less talented than their predecessors but feel that their beliefs should be shoved down the throats of anyone listening to them. So now I have found that local music is a relief to the senses. The music is great, often times better than the national acts. It makes me feel good.

Another feel good activity that I do is to play miniature pool with my wife. Yes I know, but it is fun. We downsized our living arrangements a few years ago after our daughter moved out of the house. The spare room we have is a small second bedroom that we use as an office, a craft room and a game room. The only game table that would fit in the room even without other things in it is a small four foot pool table. But it is fun to play. No we are not going to make shots like Minnesota Fats, but who cares. We are not professional pool players. We are a family who enjoys spending time together.

I have however found a great way of getting my "political fix" and still being able to laugh and feel good. It is a show on Fox News at 3 A.M. called Red Eye. It is an irreverent look at the news today. One could say they find a way laughing at what is going on today. Serious political people probably wouldn't like it but that is okay. It is not meant to be serious.

As another way of keeping myself positive I make a deliberate attempt to find positive uplifting memes and quotes to post. I Tweet those kinds of things a lot. I don't just find things that are positive and put the out there, they have to mean something to me. They have to be what I feel.

And that brings me to the last way. This blog. If I can find a way of showing that depression and bipolar are not the devastating things that some people feel, but are a challenge to someone to try to conquer. You as a person with a challenge like this or any other issue like anxiety, panic disorder or social anxiety disorder can find a way inside you to fight it and move on in a way that will cause you to say "I beat you". You will not define me.

This is what is helping me maintain a somewhat sane mind in these trying times. I just remove as much as I can the negative posts, comments and news. It is what my generation called dropping out. For my own sanity I have to do it.


About the author

 

I am a certified webmaster who has lived a life dealing with bipolar depression. My goal is to not only help others dealing with bipolar and depression but to help those around them to understand what is going with their loved ones. I write about how I deal with it and hope that it inspires you to understand that you don't have to let it control you. You control it. I write the way I talk. I want you to feel like I am talking with you in a conversation, not preaching at you in a way that makes you feel like you have to do what I tell you. I hope you enjoy my blog posts about not only bipolar but all things that I write about.


 

What about you? How is the political climate in the world today effecting you in your day to day life? Do you have a condition that is getting aggravated by this climate?

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Or, how a messed up life can be cool and interesting.

my life with bipolar
A website that includes a blog such as this is many times very malleable, it takes on many lives from inception to its conclusion. This one started as a website to show my talents as webmaster, to get customers. I have changed it many times, never being happy with what I had. Not only in appearance but also in content. I have never really been happy with this one website of all the websites I have made. They say that is the way it is for webmasters, your is never good enough.

The part I was not happy with was the content. The blog itself. A blog must be informative with something new to offer the reader. I could tell you all how to make a website, or the way to market it but there are many of those sites out there. Though it is not important to be the first but be the best I just feel that my readers can get that information other places.

I could write about being bipolar but then the same situation applies. At one time I talked about events and things that happen in Southeastern Ohio but I moved that to its own site. I did that because I wanted that great content to not get lost on a website that had way to much information. That is how I got to the blog part of the site I am at now.

I have been told by many of my friends and acquaintances that I should write about me, about my life and about how bipolar has affected me. My response to them on those suggestions is that nobody would want to read about something so boring. Their refusal to accept that and their urging me to do it is what brought me to do this. I have also been told by more than one person that I should put it in book form. That there are people out there who have fought with their lives and could identify with my struggles, victories, losses and life.  

So here it is. The prologue to a new blog. A new chapter in my life. Something that I enjoy doing, helping people feel good about life, helping them enjoy what is around them and to understand that you can get through this. Bipolar and the harshness of life itself should not hold you back or down. You can fight it and win. It may not be the victory you dreamed of. It may not be the victory you wanted, but it will be a victory. A victory of achieving a life that is yours, that you fought for and can be proud of.


No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life. Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs. Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.”― Shreyasi Phukon


 

Everyone has dreams of how you want your life to go when you are in your teens. Some people are able to keep their eye on the prize and others realize that those dreams are just not what they want, their dreams, wants and needs change.

In my case it was living for today and the future be damned. I met a girl (isn't that always the case) and decided that a life with her was faster and easier than reaching for my dream of being a disk jockey. That was quickly followed by kids, a job that I hated, so on and so forth. Of course this led to a job that I hated, a life that I hated not to mention hating the person I saw in the mirror.

At the same time a problem that I had my entire teenage years was getting worse. That was when I was under stress, when things weren't going my way I had uncontrollable fits of anger. A rage that I could not control under any circumstances.  I turned that rage towards my children, yes I took out on them the fact that I was not happy with my life. It was their fault, who else could be to blame. Let me say that yes I understand that could also be narcissism, but I don't nor have I ever fallen into the definition of that. I take responsibility for my actions. I have empathy for others. I have never felt entitled. I don't require constant admiration, or any of the other traits of the disorder. I was just unhappy, I had nothing to live for. I didn't know why because I did everything that others were doing to be happy. I did what I was raised to do, take responsibility for my children, take care of them and even when my wife and I got divorced I had no problem paying my child support.

But I was now free to find what made me happy. I went through another failed marriage. I was sent to Washington D.C. with the Air Force, I was free. I had friends, several "friends with benefits" and so on and so forth. But I still was not happy.

It took several years after before I realized that being happy was not my problem. The problem was that I went through periods of deep depression followed by periods of being very "happy". I later found out that the happy periods were not really happy periods at all. They were manic periods. I was not happy at all, I just felt better than I did when I was depressed. I don't know if I was ever happy or felt good about my life. I filled it with things that I liked to do that would give me a good feeling.

It was during one of those times that I wondered what was wrong with my life. I had pretty much all that I had wanted, or thought I wanted. I had actually achieved one of my dreams by being in the Air Force. But then in one of my hunts for a "friend with benefits"  I met the person that would come to help me understand what the problem really was.

I fell in love with the lady who would show me that I had a problem. During one of my depressed states my temper got the best of me. She told me that the person who was acting that way was not the person she fell in love with. I had to go get help or she would leave. So I did.

Well I was diagnosed with depression. The medications helped but I still did not understand why I was feeling the way I was. Then after my first doctor stopped practicing and I had to find a new doctor was when I was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder, or Bipolar 2. That means periods of depression with periods of Hypomania

This all made sense to me then. Feeling bad, like I was not worth anything then like I was the king of the world. When I was younger I did experience some manic periods that included some addictions and things. All of this will be discussed and I will talk more about how all of this has affected my life.

So I have decided that I can probably help others by telling my story. That if someone, just one person identifies with my problems, with my life then this website has been worth it. Who knows, maybe I will get enough feedback to do what was suggested. Write a book about me.


About the author

 

I am a certified webmaster who has lived a life dealing with bipolar depression. My goal is to not only help others dealing with bipolar and depression but to help those around them to understand what is going with their loved ones. I write about how I deal with it and hope that it inspires you to understand that you don't have to let it control you. You control it. I write the way I talk. I want you to feel like I am talking with you in a conversation, not preaching at you in a way that makes you feel like you have to do what I tell you. I hope you enjoy my blog posts about not only bipolar but all things that I write about.


What about your dreams? What about you? Do you live with bipolar disorder or depression?

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One of My Most Proud Endeavors

Logan Hocking Activity Center

When you ask most people what their best or favorite accomplishment is the vast majority will say their kids. But that is the p.c. easy way out of a question that tells people a lot about the person being asked. Of course you are proud of your kids and family. That goes without saying.

But I feel the reason that question is asked is to get to know someone and what makes them tick. What do you value about your professional life? That is a much more difficult question to answer.

I have many of those moments in my life. Serving on the Plant Improvement Committee while working for a vinyl siding manufacturer in Columbus, Ohio. Working to be manager of two different stores while at Domino's Pizza, among others. The one that made me feel like I was actually doing something good for my community and was giving back was my time as the webmaster and marketing director for the Logan-Hocking Community/Activity Center in Logan, Ohio.

Having lived in Logan most of my life I always knew that there should be a venue in town where kids could go after school to socialize, play sports and many other things. Logan had not had a place like that since the late 70's or early 80's. There was never a place where families could go to just enjoy the night, listen to music, play games or whatever. I then saw where a wonderful lady by the name of Robin Walton was looking for a location to put a community center for the people of Logan.

I decided to go down to the center, meet this lady and see if there was anything I could do to help out. When she found out that I was a webmaster and graphic designer she welcomed the chance to have me on board and join in making the center great for Logan, Ohio. 

When I toured the center and was able to see the game room, computer room, art room and other things I was amazed. So she allowed me to do what I do and make the center website one that drew people in with interest. My first event covering with my camera was a concert by a local Christian band by the name of The Carried I knew I wanted to be even more involved and boy did that happen. 

Later becoming the Marketing Director and was asked to help present a proposal to PepsiCo to help us build an indoor swimming pool for the people of Logan. Although it came to be they were on board with it. The problem was that the center could not get the officials of the city of Logan to support the project.

That did not stop the volunteers, staff and owners from continuing to work to bring some great things to the center. That they did. Over the next few years there were many concerts by local groups and national acts such as Ken Mellons, Karla Perretta, Grand Ole Opry act of Little Roy Lewis and Lizzy Long and the national rock group Bobaflex. Included were also local groups 7th Cycle, School Boy Zero, Legacy and others.

On Friday Nights there were family nights where local musicians would play, there would be games, Karaoke. there were also teen dances, talent contests and much much more.

Photographic Memories

wrestlingsnake wrestlingsanta wrestlingdoink wrestlingart vollyball2 volleyball talent specialneedsbasketballgame specialneedsbasketball sandy robynkarla newyears3 newyears2 newyears newyeardale musicwooley musicseventhfest musicseventh2 musicseventh musicschoolboy2 musicschoolboy musiclittleroylizzie musiclittleroy musickenmellongirl musickenmellon musicelvisimpersonator musiccarried mma korykissling kidpalooza kenpo kempokarate kareoke indoorsoccer halloween gameroomkids2 gameroomkids gameroom fun familynight excersize computerroom climbingwall christmas buildingfront bike basketballafterschool basketball

The pride that I felt while being involved with the center was not only about me but about what we were achieving with our work. It was not only about concerts and family nights. There was also adult sports leagues, youth sports, a bike track and Karate lessons among other things. One of the great things was the M.R.D.D. basketball team that was given a local venue to play their games and practice.

The center provided a diversity that is needed now. It provided different types of music from Christian to metal rock. Entertainer ranged from the very young to the legends of their industries. The diverse range of people that attended the center to participate in the events that were held there.

The pride was also in the volunteers who gave up so much of their time to insure the success of the center. Many of these great people devoted a huge amount of time. They put their souls and tears into the center. They cared about the center and about the youth and families of the town. 

I do not want to leave out others who donated their money and time to make sure bills were paid and the doors stayed open. People like Robyn Walton the first C.E.O. and Dale Campbell who purchased the center and continued it's growth. The several directors that worked tirelessly to not only make sure that things got done, but to cover for volunteers who could not be there, to help oversee the concerts and other events. It truly was a team effort.

That is what is great about endeavors like this. It is not about you. It is about the success of what you are trying to achieve. That is what makes me the most proud. Not that I was involved, although there is an amount of pride in that. But mostly it is about the success of what we were doing. It would not have made it as far as it did if not for the people described above.

There is also a certain amount of pride that is derived from learning new things. I have to admit that I not only learned a large amount of things about myself, but about how to deal with others. About being a different kind of person that I was at the time.

They say pride is one of the seven deadly sins. But it can be a good thing. I believe you have to take pride in what you do, in your work and in your life. That is one of the things that I try to do every time I embark on something. Is to do my best and take personal pride in it.

What about you? Do you have any endeavors that make you very proud of yourself and your achievements?

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